Invitation

My mom and dad have a really good financial planner that handles their retirement accounts. I was blessed to receive a Roth IRA from my parents as my college graduation gift. I was also introduced to mom and dad’s, and now my, financial planner. David is good. He’s young, eager, very knowledgeable, and excited about investing. He was gracious to meet with me when I first opened the account as I’m certain that my puny account makes him little to no commission. I’ve added here and there over the past 4 years, but when you’re young, you need nearly 100% of your income to simply survive. One day I’ll start investing once again and continue funding my accounts.

______________________________________________________

My dad called me the other day asking if I was coming to the Christmas gathering at the Red House in Franklin, TN. I was confused because I had not been invited to any such event.

He said, “This is that dinner party that David invited all his clients to. Are you coming?”

“I wasn’t invited dad. I guess he only invited the folks with the larger accounts.”

“Oh, so are you going to come?” He replied.

“Dad, I wasn’t invited!” I was beginning to wonder what it was I was saying that was so confusing.

“Well if you want to come, I’ll just call and tell them to add you,” he said.

“Umm, well, do you think they’ll be ok with me coming?” I asked.

“Well sure, if I tell them you’re coming then they’ll add you to the list. You’re my son. They won’t have a problem with it. Trust me.”

I agreed that I would like to go. I’ve been to these events before and they’re quite the affair. Good food. Excellent entertainment. Spared no expense.

______________________________________________________


I valet parked my car and walked unaccompanied toward the house for what seemed like a lifetime. I entered as a middle-aged woman greeted the other guests. She knew them all by name. When my turn came, a confused look crossed her face. She was polite, smiling in a friendly sort of way. It was obvious, however, that I was one of the few she had greeted whom she had never laid eyes on. In order to assuage her awkwardness and mine, I took the initiative.

“Hello, I’m Tom and Kay’s son,” I said smiling.

“Oh! Well good evening Mr. Crosby. We are so glad you were able to make it. Won’t you come in and join us? I think your mom and dad are in the next room chatting. They actually just got here a few minutes ago.”

I thanked her for her warmness and proceeded to rendezvous with my parents.

The evening was a success. Good food. Good wine. Gorgeous venue. Top notch entertainment by some of the Nashville recording industry’s finest.

I sat at my candlelit white tablecloth covered table eating some food which I can’t pronounce, sipping a fine wine that I can’t afford, and thinking about how much fun this was but how I didn’t deserve to be here.

This party was for those folks who had saved their whole working careers, had built up their nest egg, and had invested well. Like my mom and dad, these folks were not billionaires, but had worked hard and been good stewards of what they had been blessed with. They had earned the right to be there. What right did I have joining in their celebration?

______________________________________________________


I thought about that dinner party on the way home. I think how similar heaven might be to this grand event.

I walk forward for what seems like a lifetime. My surroundings are bright and glorious. There is joy in the air. Light surrounds me. I see a throne in front of me and feel drawn to it.

In fear and reverence, I humbly take another step forward but I’m stopped short with an accusation that cripples me. I can’t tell whether it’s near me or whether it’s the voice within me.

“Who are you and what business do you have being here? You don’t belong here!” the voice shouts.

It’s a voice that I’ve heard before, accusing me, telling me that I’m not worth it. It’s a voice that I’ve become familiar with throughout my life. It’s the one telling me that I’m less of a man; that I don’t have what it takes.

I bow low, waiting for the final blow to be delivered, not knowing from which direction it is going to come.

“The voice is right,” I think to myself. “There’s nothing that I’ve done to earn the right to enter this place.”

Another voice comes from beside the throne in front of me. I’ve heard it before too. It’s a strong voice, but one of gentleness, tenderness, and familiarity. It’s the voice that I heard when I had fallen down and had been picked back up and dusted off throughout life so many times. It’s the voice who had come to meet with me in worship and in communion. It’s the voice that pronounced love over me when I felt devastated and unlovable.

“Stop!”

“It’s finished.”

“Leave him alone for good and let him in.”

“I know him.”

“He’s a friend of mine.”

I fall to my knees before the throne and then I rise.

I meet Him face to face.

He smiles.

“Hello Daniel,” He says to me, “I’m so glad that you were able to make it. Won’t you come in and join us? I think your mom and dad are in the next room chatting. They actually just got here a few minutes ago.”

Hero

I had dinner with a friend the other night at Panera. We sat across the table from one another chatting as we ate. I tore away at my steaming Broccoli Cheddar soup in a bread bowl and coffee while she sat looking downtrodden eating her Cliff Bar and water. She said she didn’t need to spend any money. I offered to buy her dinner but she said “no.” I think she said “no” because she thought that if I bought her dinner then it would have made it a date and then she would have had to give me a goodnight kiss or something. Clearly, having thought this through, she stuck with the Cliff Bar.

Our conversation snaked its way from work stories to concerts we had attended to people we had dated. We talked about whom we had crushes on and how those crushes were either ignorant or oblivious to our existence. She gave me advice about women and I gave her advice about men. She told me how girls overanalyze everything that guys do in dating and freak out over little things like text messages. She said that guys just seem to have an “I don’t care” attitude sometimes and like to see girls squirm. I rebutted by saying that guys oftentimes do and see the same thing in the opposite direction. We have bro-talks about what a certain look means or what is encrypted in that text message that you ladies replied with. Then we have secret NATO planning meetings to plot our angle of attack in order to achieve the most successful and comprehensive victory on the objective at hand with the least amount of causalities possible (getting you girls to go out on a date with us without you turning us down).

She said that our guy meetings didn’t sound very romantic. I jokingly said that I wasn’t really worried about romance since I obviously wasn’t getting a kiss that night anyway. She had finished her Cliff Bar at this point.

I asked her what the girl version of our guy meetings were. She said that when girls have crushes on guys they often talk with their friends and create an elaborate fairytale fantasy around the whole situation. I instantly pictured two people running toward each other in slow motion on a beach at sunset and embracing in the foaming surf. Then they would probably get on a unicorn, ride off together into a wooded glade and have sex with colorful flowers and butterflies flitting around them. The girl would be wearing a sundress and the guy would likely be from Sweden, have long hair, big muscles, and walk around with his shirt partially unbuttoned.

I nodded confidently as if I could relate to exactly what she was thinking by the idea of a fairytale. I think I got what she was saying though. She wants a hero; someone strong and noble to be the man. And I may be wrong, but I don’t think the strength has to be enormous muscles necessarily. I think strong character goes a long way with women, the good ones at least. It made me think about what a hero actually is. What makes a hero a hero?

What is it that a hero has that others don’t?

Sacrifice
A hero is willing to put himself on the line in order to save someone else. Every hero goes through a time of testing and danger to save someone else. He goes up against all odds and risks it all to achieve the goal. There’s a chance of failure yet he volunteers to dive in headfirst anyway not truly knowing what the outcome may bring. It may bring death or it may bring victory. Either way, the hero trudges onward.

Nobility
A hero is willing to risk rejection for a greater good. A noble person does the right thing no matter if it is popular or not. Others may curse at or spit upon him. Groups may sneer at him and accuse him wrongly. He may lose all his friends or even his family but he stands up for what he believes in; for what he knows is right.

Selflessness
A hero is willing to see beyond himself into the lives of others. He realizes that the greater good lies beyond himself and his own comfort. He may endure some unpleasant hardships against his will in order to better all people but he is willing to do it anyway.

Loyalty
A hero is willing to stay the course even when it gets hard. There are times when the hero looks down the two paths. One seems easy and the other hard. The hero will take “the one less traveled by.” He will stay true to his word even if it brings him some struggle because his love outweighs any pain that he might endure.

Servanthood
A hero is willing to use his power to help those who are without power. He recognizes that he has a gift and has been given an opportunity. He knows his purpose and is willing to give of himself openly and generously.

We’re familiar with the story of a hero. Every movie has the element of a hero in it. Ok, well any movie of any substance. I just saw Jackass 3D and I can’t say that I could pick out the hero in that movie. It’s on its way to winning best picture of the year for sure though. Most movies do have a hero somewhere in the plot though.

We like stories about heroes. There’s something bold and beautiful about seeing someone trapped in a inescapable tangle of danger and the hero swooping in at the last second to save the day. Whether it’s the young virgin trapped in the tower of the evil black knight or Arnold saving his daughter in Commando, we can somehow relate to these movies. They invite excitement and emotion. They connect us to our neediness and brokenness. They remind us that we need rescuing.

If we’re honest, though, all of these heroes aren’t real. Even the ones that are real, such as our own military guys and gals, can’t live up to these standards completely. If you’re looking for a real hero then you ought to consider looking to Jesus. He gave it all. He took on everything and he won. The war is over. His noble sacrifice of selfless loyal service proved too much for the powers of darkness. Evil tried everything to bring him down. The good news (some call it the Gospel) is that evil didn’t even come close. It wasn’t even a real contest. Game. Set. Match. Jesus wins!

So ladies (and gentlemen), if a fairytale (hero) is what you’re looking for then it’s yours. Jesus invites you into the deepest most satisfying soul fulfilling relationship you could ever imagine. He sits beside you as you read this and embraces you. He speaks to you and you can hear him say,

“I’m here for you.”

“You can trust me.”

“I think about you often.”

“I won’t ever leave you.”

“I love you matchlessly and wholly.”

“I’ll rescue you.”

Wait and Listen

I just got off the phone with a friend of mine. The conversation did not end because we said our goodbyes but because she hung up on me. I’ve heard it said that you should not approach a sore subject when you’re still mad at someone but then I read somewhere in the Bible once where it said not to let t he sun go down while you’re still angry with someone. I guess I’m compromising and writing about it. I also went to Fred’s and bought an M & M ice cream cookie sandwich and a Coke which made the situation much more palatable.

The conversation with my friend took a turn for the worse when I began to try to fix her problems rather than listening to her vent about them to me. This is one of those issues that I plan to ask God about when I meet him face to face one day. This whole idea of men and women being wired so differently has produced a great amount of anxiety in my life and I’m only 27.

I’m a guy. We fix things. I think about an old episode of the Cosby Show where Cliff finds out that something in the house is broken and goes to get his tool belt to fix the problem. The whole family goes into crisis mode and begs Cliff to call a repairman because they know that he always makes things worse when he tries to fix something. He isn’t as handy as he thinks he is.

To know that there’s a problem and to force oneself to sit and listen to it without offering some input is painful at times. Sometimes in counseling sessions I sit and do the stereotypical counselor things such as offering empathetic grunts and reflective phrases. Sometimes I do it to show I’m intently listening to the person. Other times I’m just sleepy and I do it because it keeps me awake. Still at other times the person needs to talk so I try to keep my advice to myself. To listen, wait, and not act is excruciating sometimes. Sometimes, though, it seems that that is the very thing that is the most beneficial.

My conversation with my friend made me think of how God must look at me sometimes. I was trying to gain some wisdom about a relationship situation recently and decided on the novel idea of seeing what scripture said about it. Scripture threw out an obvious “Wait” sign. Unfortunately, that was not the wisdom I was looking for. I was certain that waiting could not be the best thing to do. I’m a guy. We fix things. We don’t wait around. I began to look for ways in which I might influence the situation; to twist and weave my life in with others’ so as to help God come to the goal that I was certain that He and I both knew was best.

Sometimes I think about God and what He must think of me. I’m certain that He loves me. I’m also certain that he has those days when He just looks down at me scratching and shaking his head asking Himself, “What in the world is he doing now?”

My plan rarely works out the way I plan for it to. In fact, when I keep my mouth shut, listen to God, and wait on Him, His ideas turn out to be far better in the end. So I sit and I painfully try to wait on God and the plan I know that He has in store for me. I try to listen for when He will lean down and whisper for me to take the next step. It is in the waiting for the whisper that our relationship with Him grows. It is in the time spent listening that we learn to put aside our plans and embrace His.

Contrast

Growing up in the city offers specific cultural learning experiences. Having been a city boy for most of my life, trips to the country have always offered a unique kind of cultural experience. Therefore, I was educated when I went to my first ever Drive-In movie in the great city of Lewisburg, TN. I was fortunate enough to have one of my best friends, Sara, accompany me on this adventure. Sara lives in the country and translated for me at times when I saw things that I did not understand. Lewisburg is one of those places that you drive through and can just tell that life is slower. There were some people throwing a ball around on an old baseball field where clumps of grass were clearly visible in the infield from lack of upkeep. Fields with cows turned into old rundown buildings which turned into a Wal-Mart parking lot and then faded again into fields of corn and cows. I think I even spotted the stereotypical old man wearing a cowboy hat leaning on a fencepost chewing on a piece of straw at one point.

I grew up in the city. Suburban Nashville. We lived in a neighborhood on a quarter of an acre of land surrounded by a chain link fence. There was just enough room between houses to fit a car down the driveway. In any given day while driving around Nashville I could pass by 7 or 8 Wal-Marts. There are about 4 gas stations within every mile driven. We don’t have livestock. One time, though, I’m almost sure that I was driving through a neighborhood and a Shetland pony ran across the road and almost hit my car before darting back to the shoulder. It was all a blur. Terrifying.

Sometimes I look up at the sky when I’m driving home at night. All I see is darkness though, along with the occasional Southwest Airlines plane beginning its final approach to the airport. When you’re in the city, the light of the city snuffs out the stars. The busyness and activity desensitizes us to the beauty that lies just above us. The moon is often dim. The heavens look dirty.

When I was in Lewisburg at the drive-in that night, I was annoyed by a glare out of the corner of my eye. I tried readjusting my positioning so that my sight was not hampered by the jerk who was shining a light in my face beside us. I turned my head ever so slightly and realized that it was actually the moon shining like a spot light in my eyes and surrounded by thousands of stars. The movie disappeared for a moment as I stared in awe of this thing that I rarely see. It was so brilliant against the backdrop of blackness, so big, so infinite.

It made me think about how maybe the busyness and the stuff I surround myself with in my life dims my heart from experiencing God. Are things moving so fast and schedules packed so tightly that I miss the most important Thing? Has my mind gotten so muddied and so dirty with all of the cultural garbage that I am slowly going blind to that which is meaningful?

I purposely did not watch television last night. Ok, so it was Monday night and I only get 9 channels and nothing was on anyway. I tried watching the Bachelorette reunion show but then I felt like a loser, a guy sitting in my apartment, alone, watching the Bachelorette reunion show. The point is, I turned the TV off. It was painful to sit in silence with God. I disliked it. I grabbed my netbook and thought about seeing what I could find on Hulu but put it back down again. I kept glancing at my phone sitting next to me hoping that I would get a text from someone...anyone. Nothing. I sat with God for what seemed like forever…and it hurt. After 15 minutes has passed it began to get easier. I almost liked it somewhat. I might try it again soon.

Try it sometime yourself.

God will stop by if you invite him over to chat or to just sit and hang out.

It is in the differences from normal life that the best things stand out.

It took a night sky at the Drive-In with a good friend to notice the moon and stars perched above me.

It took a conscious effort of tuning out the world to notice that the Father was sitting on the couch right next to me.

What’s the most surprising; He had been there all along.

Questions

QUESTION #1
While dawdling in my office one afternoon, fixated on my computer monitor which is strategically tilted away from the door, I busily clicked away on Facebook. It was a light afternoon thus I decided to “Go online” and see if anyone worth chatting with was available. Unsuspectingly, a former coworker popped up sending greetings. We exchanged pleasantries before she made this statement. “Hey there’s been something on my mind that I’ve been meaning to ask you but I’m afraid you’ll get mad or offended.” An interesting way to begin a conversation but as my interest was now ablaze I asked her to continue. She said, “So I was on Facebook the other day with a friend of mine and your picture popped up on the newsfeed. HE thought you were very cute. I was wondering if you were gay because you two would be great together.” Ha, haha, hahaha, cough, vomit in mouth a little, haha. “Umm, sadly no, I’m not gay. Tell your friend thanks anyway and that I’m flattered,” I replied.

QUESTION #2
I was met with my second unexpected question later the same week. Once again, sitting in my office, the young lady that is interning with me asked this question, “Can I ask you a personal question?” “Sure,” I replied. “What sin do you struggle with the most?” It was a blunt, ‘to the point’ question with teeth that just sticks to your heart when it’s asked. It took me aback for a second because in my 26 years of life, no one had ever asked it in that blatant a manner. So we discussed it and it was refreshing to me.

QUESTION #3
My question is this. Why don’t we ask one another the tough questions more often? In the faith circles I grew up in her question was inappropriate. Things of that nature shouldn’t be asked like that. We need to have more respect for one another and honor the boundaries of confidentiality in personal faith. Faith is to be between us and God not us and other people, right?

James says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16 (NASB)

QUESTION #4
When will we begin being real with those that we surround ourselves with? I heard a speaker at church one time make the statement, “We come in here and act like life is good and we have it all together. I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. Amen! God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Amen! No struggles here. No sin here. No worries here. We even act like all those cars out in the parking lot are paid for and we don’t even have financial worries.” I challenge everyone to have a real conversation about their faith this week with someone. It could be a family member, a best friend, or even with me. Ask the inappropriate questions. Be disrespectful of the norms of the church that you were raised in. Be real. Be open. Be honest. Grow.

Surrender

The Exodus is possibly one of the greatest book is the Bible. Filled with all the excitement of a Rated “R” movie minus the nudie scenes and colorful language. I began reading this great book just for fun, not really studying, just enjoying the story. Perhaps it was my natural perceptive nature or maybe it was God smacking me in my arrogant face with a principle that I have been struggling with for some time. Whatever the reason, I was irritated with God.

Joseph (the one with the rainbow coat that his dad got him from Macy’s) is dead. The new pharaoh of Egypt could care less about these Israelite people. In fact he’s a little intimidated about how many of them there are. He decides that the best course of action is to make them slaves. They are slaves for a good long while, time enough for Moses to be born, grow up, kill a guy, run away, get married, get called by God, argue with God about his calling, and finally realize that he doesn’t have a say in the matter and do what he’s told. I have heard that all of this takes place in approximately 110 years give or take.

Exodus 2:23-24 (NLT)
“Years passed, and the king of Egypt died. But the Israelites continued to groan under their burden of slavery. They cried out for help, and their cry rose up to God. God heard their groaning, and he remembered his covenant promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He looked down on the people of Israel and knew it was time to act.”

Had I been an Israelite, I might have asked the question, “God, why did it take you 110 years to hear our prayers and send us a deliverer?” I mean seriously, I was raised with the understanding that God heard my prayers instantly and that He had compassion on his people. Now God is God and I suppose he reserves the right to answer a prayer however He wants, but still. If the plan is to rescue Israel anyway, why not do it sooner than later? I suppose this is freedom One gets when One is the Creator of the universe.

I’m a pretty smart (and humble) guy, but I don’t presume to boast that I know how God thinks. Perhaps, though, God waited until the people were at the end of their rope, with no other option, no other way out but Him. Perhaps the people began complaining at first of the hard labor. Complaining moved onto bitterness. Bitterness moved to action and perhaps they protested the poor working conditions and formed the first Dept. of Labor staffed with the finest employees that tax dollars could buy. Protests were squelched violently and the Dept. of Labor was disbanded. Israelites began to realize that they were not in control anymore. They didn’t have a say anymore. Now why did God allow them to suffer for 110 years? Maybe it took longer for people to figure things out in those days. They did live to be pretty old after all. Perhaps it did take 110 years though.

110 years to give up

110 years to realize that they were powerless

110 years to realize that they needed something or someone bigger than themselves

110 years to wave their white flag

110 years to surrender

Surrender, after all, is what God is asking of each of us isn’t it? Time and time again, I find myself trying to control my own life. I think that the axis of the globe runs straight through my head leaving me to be the center of the world. Things would certainly run better if only everyone would ask about (and follow) my opinions. In reality, however, things topple over in my life when the focus becomes about me. I find myself tightening my grip ever so securely around my life yet find it becoming evermore so out of control. It is when I relinquish this death grip that God steps in and says, “Thanks for letting me in Daniel. I’ll take it from here. You’re gonna love this next part! I just wish you had made room for me sooner.” Then He smiles at me then blows my mind by turning my world upside down for the better. This is the God of compassion whom we serve and who values each of us so greatly.

Give up

Let go

Wave your white flag

Surrender

Counsel

I was doing chores around the house one afternoon like everyone loves to do and was struck by an arrogant but humbling idea all at once. It was a slap to the face in one sense yet an epiphany in another. I go to work from 8-5 each day Monday through Friday and sit in my nice chair in my nice office listening to people talk about their life struggles. I currently have a caseload of approximately 100 people ranging in age from 5-65 years old. While I have only been a counselor for 3 ½ years I have helped hundreds of people. I have helped people begin the road to recovery from addiction, helped them save their marriages, and helped children change their behaviors that have been making them and their parents miserable for a reason they do not even understand. I’ve celebrated with people and mourned with people. I’ve sat with them while they are in their lowest moments and seen the gleam in their eye when they came to my office about to burst because they had had a success to tell me about. I work hard to do my job well and I am good at my job. It was not what I learned in school that prepared me for this field, but my personality, my ability to connect with people and show them that if no one else in the world cares about their struggles, I do. It’s who I am. I am successful at it.

My epiphany came about, however, when I saw the antithesis to my arrogant, self parading, exaggerated view of myself. I looked at myself and saw someone who struggles with loneliness, anxiety (as I’ve been biting my fingernails down for the good part of 2 decades now), trust, and motivation. True, I’ve saved marriages, helped people work through their suicidal thoughts, advocated for abused children, and ministered to the less fortunate, but I’m just as much of a mess as they are. It took all that was within me to ask someone for a date recently. Upon receiving a “yes” answer, it took significant counsel from a public relations specialist, a middle school teacher, a consulting representative, a PhD, a marriage and family therapist, and an intern to determine what the heck this whole dating thing is and how I should handle it. I spent time gathering information, getting opinions and suggestions, and plotting my course before setting off into a world I know nothing about.

I wonder sometimes if this is how we are in our Christian lives. I suspect that each of us who grew up in the church or has been there for some time knows all of the right things to say or do. I suspect that we could read through a list of decisions that people have made an easily determine whether they are moral, legal and ethical or not based on our view of God’s will for our lives. We know the textbook phrases to use when consoling someone at a funeral or what to tell someone who is struggling with something in the church. If we’re really good, we even know where to find the verses to back up what we are saying (unless you’re me then you’re very adept at using the online concordance).

When it comes to our own lives, however, we struggle. If someone tells me that they don’t feel close to God I may tell them to pray more, read their Bible, and go help some other poor soul to make themselves feel closer to God. When I don’t feel close though, I flail around and wonder what it is that I should do and why God isn’t treating me fairly. Why have you forsaken me God? Why the loneliness? Why now?
One of the most absurd things that a professor ever told me in counseling was that we had to remain mentally healthy in order to help those who were not mentally healthy. It was a good concept, but it was flawed, for we will always struggle with something. There will always be challenges. Strangely, however, it will always be easier to help someone else out of a mess than to get out of a mess when it’s clawing at your own heart. Jesus said in Matthew 7:5, “Hey psycho, before you start trying to screw in everyone else’s life how about you get your own junk together rather than pointing fingers at him and laughing.” (Ok, that was slightly paraphrased but you get the point.)

So as we continue on this journey throughout life, let’s work with one another to balance the burden. I’ll keep working on myself. You keep working on yourselves, and we’ll both support one another and lift each other up during those times when a little help is needed. The best news is that Jesus is on our side to carry the burden right along with us. In fact, he takes the weight off of us. He has already won. That is where my confidence lies. In fact, I can be so confident in his victory that nail biting becomes a relic of the past (until my next date this is).

Parallels

Who doesn’t love a good romance story? Well, probably a lot of people. Stereotypically guys don’t care for them much, but most guys secretly do enjoy them I believe. I know a lady who said that her husband loves to watch them with her because he knows he’s going to get lucky afterwards. Having taken part in my own quasi-romance story, I have discovered an interesting parallel between this human relationship and our relationship with God.

My relationship started as most do, with a glance. The glance turned into a greeting which turned into flirting which turned into a date which turned into dating. I treated this woman like a queen. Flowers, cards, cooked meals, back rubs, kindness, quality time, the whole bit. I had done everything that I knew to do to make this woman feel special; to show her how I felt. To many, I would have been the ultimate boyfriend. I am even a good listener for goodness sakes (I am a counselor after all).

About 2 months in she reciprocated my affection in her own way by informing me that we should just be friends. I was crushed. It had been 4 years since I had had anything more than the proverbial nibble when it came to someone showing interest in me. How could this be? I gave it my all!

It is heart breaking to give your all to something only to have it completely and utterly rejected. It would be one thing to be rejected if I had done something wrong like lying or cheating (I did neither mind you), but to just be rejected just because, it’s shattering.

This relationship, or lack thereof, made me think about my relationship with God. I gave nothing to this woman in comparison to what God has given to me. God says to me, I can give you life at its best. I want a relationship with you. Your life won’t be perfect while you’re on earth, but let’s walk this journey together, side by side. God says, I will dote on you and give you more than you’ll ever need. I chose you and called you by name and I love you.

Then that uncomfortable scene in the movie takes place. It’s the scene in the movie when the guy professes his love for the girl. She looks at the ground awkwardly before looking up and saying that she does not feel the same.

God professes his love for me and I look back and say “Thanks God, you know, I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you and stuff, but I just want to be friends right now. It’s not you. It’s me. I mean, you’re a great God and all I just think I’m not ready for something serious right now. Maybe I’ll see you every Sunday for an hour at church or something. I hope this won’t make it awkward for us.”

God is perfect. He didn’t lie or cheat. His only crime was giving me a taste of what the wonders of life inside a relationship with Him would be like. This relationship would be different from the one I offered this young lady. This relationship would be for eternity; one day bringing me to heaven to live fully in His presence. Yet when offered eternity, oftentimes I tell God that I just want to be friends. I reject God’s offer. I break His heart. My excuses are many. I have a lot going on. Work, activities, friends, activities with friends from work. I’ll give God a piece of my time just like everything else gets but not all of me. I won’t let him into the deepest parts of me.

This brings about conflict because God in his essence demands to have all of me. “We are his people the sheep of his pasture.” We belong to God. God loves me unconditionally and jealously. He will have no other person or thing before himself when it comes to filling up my hearts.

So I must choose. If I am like my “friend” I will choose to be separated; living life outside of a relationship with God. God, out of love will let me go but never stop loving me.

If I look toward God, though, and say ‘yes’ to Him, then He invites me into a relationship…

so amazing

so wonderful

so deep

so pure

…that nothing will ever compare to it.

God is smitten with you and with me. He has already chosen you. Will you choose Him back?

Alone

It’s nearly 9pm as I sit on my 3rd floor balcony in Nashville. My apartment is about as close to the interstate as you can get. I hear the big trucks flying by every so often accompanied by the higher pitched buzz of cars weaving in and out of traffic. I look out and see the light pollution of downtown Nashville and see a couple of planes in the near distance beginning their decent into Nashville International.

Why is it still called Nashville “International” by the way? We having nothing even close to an international flight anymore. My guess is that it would cost too much to change all of the signs. Those signs are bigger than you think you k now?

The blinking lights in the sky make me wonder, though, about who all sits in those cramped little seats entering our fair city. Some are on business, some are coming to see family, some are locals just coming back home. What lies in store for them though?

Families waiting for them at home?

Empty hotel room?

Wives, husbands, kids, girlfriends, boyfriends, parents, friends

My dad used to go on business trips. Sometimes to Germany, sometimes to Pennsylvania. Even as a boy I remember seeing the people getting off the airplane (back when you could meet people at the gate). Some people would get off and have people there to meet them. They would embrace and smile as their eyes met. Others would get off and turn walking alone to get their bag and then off to their destination. Even as an 11 year old I found myself feeling bad for these people that did not have anyone to meet them. Now that I’m older I realize that they probably were going home to a wife or kids but it seemed so lonely at the time.

Have you ever had one of those nights when you were alone and the aloneness was overwhelming. Maybe you were even surrounded by people and felt alone. Sitting in a suburban neighborhood with thousands of people within a mile of you, seeing the excitement of the lights downtown , the hustle and bustle going on around you, yet you are alone.

I have this completely irrational fear that I have only told a handful of people in my life. Everyone has seen those movies when the world is coming to an end and everyone abandons a major city. There always follows that scene where the camera pans through the streets and it is completely quiet and there is debris and loose paper blowing around. One of my greatest fears is waking up and being the only person walking through those streets. Complete and utter aloneness.

My mind races and makes it worse when I imagine walking through the streets and there being people walking toward me in those yellow bio hazard suits. If that ever happened then I would likely have to change my underwear. There’s something about knowing you’re alone and then it getting worse by realizing that you’re not alone but that there has been some nuclear or biological catastrophe that you’re apart of. Either way, you are pretty much screwed and by yourself in one way or another.

Sometimes when I’m lonely I feel very small. I feel insignificant and outnumbered. I feel like no one knows where I am at in life and what I’m going through. I feel like I’ve just gotten off the plane and there’s no one there to meet me and no one who is going to be happy to see me when I get home. Occasionally in my pity party, these verses will pop into my head and give me hope.

Matthew 10:29-31 NIV
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

“Thanks God for that little reminder. I sometimes forget how much you value me and how you always know where I am [even if it’s all alone in a city that has undergone a nuclear or biological disaster]. You never sleep, never slow down, you always pursue me. Even when I try to run away from you I am always running toward you for wherever I am, there you are as well. Give me a sense of your presence in those times when I doubt; when I forget how vast, how wide, and how deep your love is for me.”

Depravity

One of the pastors at my church made this statement: “If you don’t believe in the depravity of mankind, then go down the hall and sit in on the 2 year old Sunday school class for awhile.” The congregation laughed when he said it. My first thought was, “What exactly is depravity?” I had heard the word thrown around in my conservative church home growing up, but the problem with many of those loyal church words is that we don’t know what they even mean. I knew depravity was not a good thing and it probably had to do with sin because my church was totally into teaching about all the things that we were NOT allowed to do in this life. We were the “Church of Don’t.” Don’t have sex, don’t drink alcohol, don’t dance, don’t bother others with your problems at church, etc. So we would all come together on Sunday mornings and celebrate the fact that we had spent a week doing nothing. I assumed depravity had to do with people that went out and did things during the week. I Googled it and the definition was as follows: “Marked by corruption or evil.”

How are two year olds “marked by corruption or evil,” I thought to myself. Then I met a two year old and it all made sense. Attempting to play with this young chap was a learning experience for me. Our playtime began with him throwing a temper tantrum complete with spitting, red face, screaming, kicking, hitting, crying, throwing things, etc. The reason for this outburst? The pajamas he wanted to wear were dirty and he had to wear another set. In about 60 seconds after the temper tantrum was over and he had completely forgotten what he was upset about, play resumed. It involved him picking up one of his 3700 toys and throwing it around. I thought I would join in and select a toy to play with as well. I selected my toy, a hammer than makes construction noise when it hits something. Immediately, crying resumed as the hammer was violently yanked from my hands followed by a stern eye to eye glare from the 2 year old with the following statement, “MINE!” He took the hammer and laid it on the floor and went on playing with his other toys. I was speechless. It was funny in a certain twisted sense, but so irrational in another.

The depravity of mankind now made more sense to me. I have always wondered why sin was so natural for me. The question was posed to me in college: “Why do we sin so easily?” The simple answer is that sin if fun. I like doing things that I like to do. Many thoughts/activities/attitudes that are not good for me are still fun to do. From the day we are born we encounter sin and selfishness. A person trained by sinners is likely to be a sinner himself. Now for you Original Sin proponents and opponents this discussion is not that discussion. I’m not discussing whether we are born sinful or not. I’m simply stating that from birth, human beings want what they want when they want it. I’m hungry, I want my bottle NOW! I’m angry so I’m going to hit you because it makes me feel better NOW! Perhaps sin and selfishness are synonymous. Try to think of a sin that does not stem from selfishness. It’s nearly impossible to do.

Thus, from early in life we have a selfish nature. The psychology world calls it egocentric. The layperson calls it self-centered. Selfish ambition is something that we are in conflict with our entire lives. At 2 years old it’s a plastic hammer that makes construction sounds and a set of Spiderman sleepwear. At 35 it’s a spouse that leaves the marriage due to disinterest with the same old husband or wife. At 50 it’s more money and upward mobility in the company. At 65 it manifest itself as jealousy over not retiring with as much stuff as the neighbor or the coworker.

King David felt it when he wrote in Psalm 51: 3-5 NIV:
3 “For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.
5 Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.”

What a depressing passage of scripture. Just reading these verses does not give one a sense of hope in overcoming this fallenness that we live in. Luckily, the Hebrew Bible, our Old Testament is not the end of the story.

Paul writes in Romans 3:21-24 NIV:
“But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

The word “justify” in this passage is key. Justify is an old carpentry term. It means to line something up. From early on in our lives we have been out of line. We are incapable of staying inside the lines that God has drawn for us. It’s only through Jesus Christ that we are put back in line, straightened up, made right, justified.

Fallenness

Selfishness

Darkness

Depravity

These are not the end

Grace

Love

Hope

Justification

Only through Christ Jesus

Cycle

I love to go white water rafting. Living in Tennessee, it’s not too far of a drive to get to the Ocoee River, one of the better strips of white water in the country. There’s a thrill in the feel of being at the mercy of the river with swift moving water and rocks all around you protected only by your little rubber boat and the knowledge of your river guide. Occasionally people fall overboard in the middle of a rapid and have to float further downstream where the other members of their boat can pull them back in. On one trip however, a friend of mine was met with a bit more excitement. He happened to fall out of the raft in a rapid that had created a vortex near some large rocks. He regaled us with the story afterwards of how he was sucked under the water and couldn’t surface due to the cyclical nature of the vortex. He said, “I was kicking and swimming to get to the surface but the rapid kept cycling me back through over and over. I couldn’t break free. Finally, the rapid released its hold on him and vomited him back to the surface again, coughing and sputtering, but overall, fine.

Cycles

I often use the concept of getting stuck in a cycle with many of my therapy clients. So many of them seem to be miserable in their life circumstances but feel stuck, as if they can’t escape their struggles. “I just can’t go on like this anymore,” “What am I supposed to do now?” What’s fascinating is that the majority of the people sitting across from me on the couch in my office know what is wrong. They even know what they should do to fix the dilemma that they’re currently in. As their counselor, I often ask the surprising question, “What do you think you should change in order to fix your problem?” Many of them look up, confused, perhaps wondering why the person they’ve come to to get the answers is the one asking them this obvious question. It is then that I ask it again. “What do you think you should change in order to fix your problem?” I can see the cogs in their heads turning as they process this strange concept.

There is a quote commonly heard that it credited to Albert Einstein. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So often, we get caught in a negative cycle, knowing how to escape it, yet being continually pulled back into its grips. Maybe it’s a bad relationship, a bad habit, a string of business failures. We know the very thing that we’re doing wrong, yet we do it again and again, each time meeting with grief and distress that the outcome is the same.

Paul writes in Romans:

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”
Romans 7:15-20 NIV

Most of us know what is right and what is wrong. We just don’t do it. Life tends to happen and we make poor decisions based more on our own selfish desires rather than on the desires reflecting God’s nature. This cycle of selfishness and “I want” mentality keeps our cycle running strong generation after generation. Paul says that we are incapable of escaping this cycle left to ourselves. In fact, try as we might to do good, we continue to do evil. Only Christ living in us can transform us into the creation that God intends for us to be; a creation that brings glory to Him.

Greed

Money is one of those topics that we rarely want to hear talked about when it comes to religion. The stereotype of course is the preacher who stands up in front of the congregation at budget time each year and preaches a rousing sermon about tithing and how God expects everyone to give according to his or her means.

Scripture speaks much more about money than just giving to the local church. In fact, money is one of the most frequently talked about topics anywhere in scripture; especially when it comes to the topic of greed. Jacob stealing Esau’s birthright, the money changers in the temple, and Judas’ betrayal of Christ are just a few examples of people who gave up their morals and ethics for the almighty dollar. Ok, so none of them used dollars but you get the idea.

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." 1 Peter 5:5b

The almighty dollar is used today, however. Nearly any person can take a moment, stop, and think of a person he or she knows that compromised his or her values and ethics for a few extra American greenbacks. Oftentimes, the excuse is, “It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.” This theory maintains that what is done in business has no connection with what is done in one’s personal life. Sometimes business is separated from all other aspects of life. Church may take place on a Sunday morning and then early on Monday a cutthroat business deal may transpire destroying people’s very livelihoods in order to save a few dollars.

How easily we separate and rationalize the decisions we want to make in order to help our stomachs and our heads digest them a little more easily. Good companies that began for noble reasons oftentimes take a turn toward insatiability and greed seeming to never be full and always wanting more. Corporate Financial Gluttony has perhaps been one of the Satan’s greatest tools in America. It conveniently gives us something seemingly valuable and stable to strive for, all the while slowly whittling away at our souls.

I heard a recent story of a small business owner who used less than honorable tactics to do away with an employee thus producing more profit for his business. The company was not doing well and he needed to cut a salary. Rather than laying the employee off, he resorted to “business” tactics. He verbally abused the employee hoping that he would have enough, get frustrated, and simply quit the job. The employee stood firm so the businessman had to resort to harsher tactics. He loaded the employee down with so much work (outside of the employee’s expertise) that the employee was sure to fail. Naturally, the employee began to make some mistakes in his work. Threats of termination were mixed with the silent treatment as the business owner refused to make eye contact and talk with the employee. Finally, the business owner walked in unexpectedly one Friday and fired the employee. No explanation, no severance package, just, “You’re done. Leave.”

Now this situation could have been handled much more professionally and with a touch of humanity in the mix in order to preserve relationships and not burn bridges. Dare we even mention an addition of Christian ethics and values into the business world to treat others the way we would want to be treated? Oftentimes, however, this is not the case as it cost additional money. Treating someone with respect and dignity in the workplace takes effort. Effort on one front causes decreased productivity on another. Decreased productivity leads ultimately to less revenue which leads to an impossibility to treat others with respect the next time around the cycle.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert.” 1 Peter 5:6-8a

Another example is that of corporate America. I heard another story of a company that was initially created to make a difference in people’s lives. It was a humanitarian effort; all about helping people help themselves. It quickly morphed into a machine of bad policy and poor ethics where employees were forced to work less at changing lives and to work more at making the company money. The machine grew and grew opening up new branch after new branch until it could barely sustain itself. One day, a tiny pin was thrown into one of the cogs of the machine and it started to sputter, clink, and clank. Greed had pushed the business leaders to spread themselves too fast and too thin. The business began to ache and rumors spread about collapse and closing. Ultimately people lost their jobs, their sense of purpose, and their trust in the company that was at first created to empower others. (It doesn’t hurt to mention that as layoffs loomed, upper level executives received end of the year bonuses that were equal to the average employee’s annual salary.) “We have to cut the budget by 20% and increase productivity by 10%. That means layoffs and increased work loads. It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”

“Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” 1 Peter 5:8b-9

And so Satan roams the earth looking for whom he might devour. If he can work himself into businesses; into the very fabric of American society where we steadily separate ourselves from our ethics, morals, values, and beliefs that we hold so dear on Sunday mornings sitting in our pew then he has us. We are his for the killing. His strategy is strong and it works.

Be wary that when we play shopkeeper in real life that real lives are affected.
Real families are affected.
Real futures are affected.
Real souls are affected.
It may be yours.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 5: 10-11

Goodness

"In the midst of pain, the real question is ‘God are you good?'"
-Lloyd Shadrach…Fellowship Bible Church-Brentwood, TN

As if I were intentionally mimicking a sardine in its oily can, I sat in church Sunday morning and awkwardly tried to cross my legs to have some sense of relief through movement. Today's topic, The Fall of Mankind. I listened intently as I was struck by much of what was said and the connection that I had to all of humanity in its brokenness.

Genesis 3 gives the reader the sense that this is the demise of mankind; a quick ending to the story before is really even gets started. It is an interesting passage, one that we sometimes study, but rarely feel the depth and severity of. To every good story, there exists a hero, a villain, a crisis, and a resolution. Genesis 3 presents humanity at perhaps its lowest point. The hero is introduced as the Creator and like a slap to the face the villain and the crisis arise together in Genesis 3 as humanity plunges into darkness. Luckily for humanity, however, the hero is inexorable and inescapable. The God of Creation begins the fight to bring humanity back. The story is epic and as in all stories of goodness and adventure, the hero comes out victorious.

By God's very nature, He must be glorified. God exists and creates everything to glorify Him. It is all of creation's job to bring glory to Him. The rocks, trees, sky, and animals all glorify God by doing what they are created to do. When a fish swims it glorifies God. When a tree blows in the breeze it glorifies God. When a river flows it glorifies God. All three of these are doing what God intend for them to do and thus bring Him glory.

Humanity is also created to glorify God. Humanity is different though. The fish, trees, and rivers are not given a choice about whether they may glorify God or not. Their purpose is already set and there is no decision on their part. This is not so with humanity; with us.

God creates with great power in Genesis 1. He creates solely by speaking. He speaks it and it is. It is all good in the beginning except for man's aloneness. Next, God provides for man in Genesis 2 by creating him a helpmate. As our story progresses we meet a surprising change in Genesis 3, however. The natural consequence of God's power and provision should be worship. Glorifying God.

Power + Provision ≠ Worship, however.

We become skewed.
We change lanes.
We spiral downward.
We crash.

Humanity realizes that there is another option. Humanity chooses rebellion. God says, "I created you. I love you. You are very good. I have a plan for you and I will do great things with you." Humanity believes a lie. Although God provides completely, humanity wants to find its own path, its own way. Humanity's way does not work.

Genesis 4 through Revelation 20 demonstrates God's relentless love and goodness in bringing His people back. God presents another option, not a Plan B, but a new way for humanity to re-choose. Through Christ, God offers us an on ramp back onto the right road; into the right direction perhaps. Through God's indescribable love, He shows humanity that we can trust his goodness, his love, and his provision. He invites humanity into His eternal delight in us.

Why all of the turmoil though? Why did God not create humanity like a fish, tree, or river? If God is as good as He says He is then why allow the pain? It's a messy question with an even messier answer. Through giving humanity a choice God risked rejection. He risked having his most cherished part of creation choose to live life apart from Him. If given a choice, however, creation can also choose to live with God. By giving humanity a choice God is showing his love.

Love in Choice

So how does one reconcile the pain and suffering in the world with God's goodness? Our faith is only as strong as our conviction that God is good. Left to ourselves, humanity is fallen and broken. Humanity cannot look at itself alone and see the goodness of God. The only basis humanity has for knowing that God is good is the cross. A God who would die to self and take the burden upon Himself to bring humanity back is a God who is none else but pure goodness and delight.

A redeemed humanity is more innocent that an unfallen humanity because a redeemed humanity has surrendered to its Creator and has chosen the gift of love that the Creator so joyfully offers. This is eternal and unfailing goodness.

Grief

Grief is something that everyone will struggle with at some point in his or her life. I have a unique perspective on grief and grief recovery as I find myself stuck in between psychology and theology. On the one hand, I am a therapist helping people work through their grief, but on the other I am a Christian who knows that there is a greater purpose in life and in death that not one of us can fully understand. Just recently, I was approached by an individual who has been plagued by the death of a child. The emotion and the turmoil were evident by the droves of tears that cascaded down his face. This individual’s guilt, hopelessness, and helplessness were almost overwhelming. Upon discovering this client on my schedule I consulted with other mental health professionals about the best way to handle this situation. It was interesting when all mentioned separately that connecting the bereaved with a local faith organization was central to promote healing.

American society prides itself on its adeptness at achieving and overcoming. Children are taught from birth to succeed and push forward. “Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” some have said. There comes a point, however, when the pain is so present and so real that no amount of self-will will allow a person to jump the hurdle that confronts that person in life. This is the point where a person must look beyond him or herself and find healing through others or through someone more powerful than any mortal man. This is when a person is humbled and falls upon their knees praying for relief from God who gives graciously.

Perhaps a person’s character may be measured by where he or she turns when testing comes. Money, power, authority, and stability all may provide comfort for a short time, but it is when the real struggles are upon us that we see where we ultimately put our trust. All of the therapy, the antidepressants, and the heart to heart talks with loved ones will help with those painful feelings, but faith in a God that is greater than death will ultimately heal.

So often when facing a grieving person, it’s difficult to know what to say. While this is certainly not the time to cram religion down someone’s throat (not that anytime is a good time to do that) a thoughtful card reminding the person that prayers are being offered in their name may be helpful. Perhaps even praying with the grief stricken person may be helpful. Prayer is a powerful and when at our lowest our connection with God will raise us up. He is many things to many people, but He is Healer to all.

The A.C.T.S. of Prayer

What is prayer?

How should a person pray?

Is there even a correct way to pray?

Each person's prayer style is unique to that individual. Perhaps the term "prayer" means different things to different people. While watching the news one might hear a person say, “All we can do now is pray.” This would be a prayer of need and humility recognizing that someone is powerless to change a situation. Others might take a more traditional view of prayer such as an older silver haired gentleman standing in front of his church reciting an almost rote prayer complete with “thee” and “thy” as if he lived in the time of King James himself. His prayer is full of reverence and honor for God. Still others might speak to God as if God were a close friend, more of a conversational approach.

It is interesting to note the different ways and styles that people look to the Father though prayer. What is more interesting, perhaps amazing even, is that God hears all of these styles and responds to each one in a specific way. God can be a person’s helper and healer, a person’s strong almighty Father, and a person’s friend depending on what that person needs at that particular time. As we live our lives and we change from one season of life to the next, we need God in different ways. We grow and mature physically and so does our faith. It would almost seem strange to us to hear a 50 year old praying the same prayer as a 3 year old. God can respond to each season of life and each person uniquely, however.

It is important to remember that communication with God is a privilege, a gift that God has given humanity to be able to approach Him with anything and have the confidence that He can handle it. It is easy at times to get into a rut of prayer. One rut that is easy to fall into is that of only talking to God when times are tough or when a need arises. Some call this a “Genie in a Bottle Prayer.” God is looked at as a genie that is there to grant his people’s wishes and the people in turn look at prayer as rubbing the lamp to get the genie to pop out. While God does invite his people to ask him for their needs and wants, solely praying this type of prayer shows immaturity and perhaps even selfishness. Suppose a person had a friend who only called or came to visit when he or she wanted something. That relationship would be viewed as somewhat shallow. So it is with our relationship with God.

One way that a person can begin to form a more “balanced” prayer life and begin to be more conversational with God is to use a prayer model. THE A.C.T.S. model is widely known and used and may be helpful when trying to begin to pray in different ways.

“A” stands for Adoration. This is the time in the prayer when a person wants to praise God simply for who God is. “God you are mighty, holy, and all knowing,” is an example of a prayer of adoration. This is a time when the person praying can address God in any way he or she feels inclined to do. If a person has experienced God as “Father” then he or she might wish to praise God in that way. If God has recently helped a person overcome a struggle in his or her life then he or she might wish to praise and adore God as helper and healer.

“C” stands for Confession. So often with confession a person might get caught up in beating themselves up spiritually or emotionally. This is not what confession is for. Confession is a person’s time for owning what he or she has done. “God, I really blew it this time when I lied to my manager at work to get out of trouble,” is an example of confession. Oftentimes, churches view confession as punishment. A person must confess and then take the beating that he or she has coming to him or her. This is not what scripture teaches about confession, however. Just as a child is taught honesty and owning up to his or her mistakes, so to God wants each child of his to take responsibilities for deeds done wrong.

“T” stands for Thanksgiving. One of the most commonly forgotten parts of prayer might be thanksgiving. A person might pray and pray fervently for a need and then when God fulfills that need, that person forgets to go back and thank God for his intervention. God wants each of his children to be grateful for the gifts He has provided. Thanksgiving should be a central part of each person’s prayer life.

“S” stands for Supplication. Supplication simply means asking God for what is needed. As stated earlier, God wants each person to come to Him and in humility admit that he or she is not strong enough to deal with life in isolation. Each person needs God’s intervention at times throughout life to simply go on. Whether it is a concern over a medical problem, a child who has made a poor decision, or a job loss, God wants his people to ask Him for help.

God is a God that lives in and has walked among His people. He is a God of relationships and of connection. Prayer is certainly the easiest and most natural ways of communicating with the Creator. Through petition and supplication, thanksgiving, confession, and adoration, each person’s connection is secure knowing that God hears each and every one.

Hope

How does one define hope? It’s a simple yet profound question. In light of the recent disaster in Haiti and as we continue to see the ongoing war in the Middle East many might define hope differently. The Haitian people might define hope differently than the soldier’s families back in the States. Perhaps their hope is the same, they just hope for different things. The people of Haiti hope for relief from pain and suffering. They might hope for food, for shelter, or even for water. The family of a soldier in the Middle East might hope for a letter, a phone call, and more than anything to be reunited with a loved one. Some might just be hoping to survive the workday until 5pm so they can go home for the weekend.

The English language is one that is complex and confusing. It utilizes the same word for many various meanings. For instance, someone can love a Big Mac but can also love a child or a spouse. While it is the same word, the meaning varies drastically. The word hope can be used in the same way. A person might say, “I hope our team wins tonight,” but might also say, “I hope the test comes back negative for cancer cells.” It is the same word, but one is much more serious and much stronger than the other. Often, when our culture and society uses the word hope, it is presented with the connotation of a wavering uncertainty. A certain event might happen or it might not. There is a feeling that the possibility is still up in the air. How is the word hope used in the context of faith in God though?

The word hope appears in scripture approximately 146 times. It is used in various contexts and in many different ways. Of all the books of the Bible, Psalms has the most examples of the use of the word hope. Throughout the Psalms, however, the word hope has a meaning attached to it that is considerably different that one might see it in everyday speech of our American culture. The writers of the Psalms give the reader a sense of certainty and concreteness when using the word hope. Hope is something that, through faith and belief, a person can put all of his or her weight on. Right now, it is wintertime. Some might walk onto a frozen lake saying, “I hope the ice holds.” The biblical definition of hope, however, entails that the ice will hold and that there is certainty in the ice. The ice will not crack. It is strong enough and it will hold.

God is that kind of hope. When a person hopes in God then there is a certainty in that relationship that the ice will hold. God has no cracks. He is strong enough to handle anything that is thrown at him. A person can put his or her weight upon God and have confidence that He will not crumble. He has always been, always is, and always will be. He was, is, and is to come. No matter who is president, what natural disaster may befall us, or where there is a war raging, hope is stability. It is stability in a God that rescues and withstands the test of time.

Harbor

I don’t know why I’m typing this. Consider it free written, the art of writing nothing but finding meaning in it in one’s own mind. Perhaps the swirls of my mind will eventually flow into a river headed in one direction. I feel as if confusion has set in like a fog on an ocean harbor. The ships in port are stuck sitting impatiently like a road waiting for some weary traveler to pass by on foot and pay it some attention. The ships outside of the safe waters dare not cross into them for fear that some treacherous object lie in wait to shred their sturdy but fragile hulls. Being adrift at sea must feel like the ultimate loneliness. I say that it “must” because I have never been adrift at sea. I’ve actually never been out to sea on a boat.

I once watched a show where a guy skilled in wilderness survival intentionally put himself in the worst case scenario situations and showed the viewing audience how to live for a week or so. In one episode, he put himself on a life raft in the middle of the Caribbean ocean. It was sort of boring compared to the other episodes because he only had about 10 square feet to move around in for the hour long episode. He would eat some vacuum sealed hot dogs and then tell me how I could collect fresh water from the condensation on a tarp. He would then vomit up the hot dogs from sea sickness and tell me some more about the dangers of dehydration.

Being adrift at sea would scare me. The fear in me might lie primarily in the fact that I had no clue where I was. I like to know where I’m going and how long it’ll be before I get there. When I got a job out of college that required me driving into some pretty shady neighborhood, I went out and quickly bought a GPS. Sure, everyone has one now, but I had one before they were all the rage. This was an impulse buy that turned out to be a lifesaver. The $98 Express black pants that I bought 8 years ago were an impulse buy that I regret. It’s funny because as I write this, I look to my left where my high school and undergraduate diplomas hang on the wall with their precisely matted edges and shiny black frames. What’s funny is this, after each diploma I felt lost for a period of time. “If only I could graduate,” I thought to myself, “I would have some direction and know the answers.” Sadly no, my diplomas did not give me good directions, only more questions. So I sit here tonight and ponder what to do with a Master’s degree, the diploma that proudly hangs up high in my office at work. This piece of paper seems as of late to slowly be fading into uselessness for me.

Having had the world by the tail for approximately 6 months after graduation, I now find myself slowly slumping back into my ever receding trust and reliance on my own efforts. I find myself being slowly pulled back away from effort, productivity, hard work, and toiling yet pulled into an ever growing relationship with He who can give me the answers.

I just finished reading “The Shack” by William P. Young a delightful theological narrative about a father’s struggle to find meaning in disaster. One of my favorite quotes which I write below gives me hope and reminds me of that which I often forget: "Religion is about having the right answers, and some of their answers are right. But [Jesus is] about the process that takes you to the living answer and once you get to him, he will change you from the inside." How clearly that statement rings true. My struggle strangely does not lie with religion. Quite honestly I gave up on the organized, politicized, entity of religion several years ago. What I refuse to give up on is the healing nature of Christ and the fact that when I am in the clearest of mental states is when I am in the deepest of relationships with Him.

It’s been approximately 6 weeks since I’ve prayed. That may sound absurd for many of you. Some it may seem absurd because you have far surpassed my 6 week mark of prayerlessness. Some may be amazed that I could go that long without praying. I having been faced with a complex set of relationship issues this past week however, has brought me back to me knees in search of something, anything, that might make sense out of the frustration and pain. It’s so easy to forget Him when success seems inexhaustible yet it’s easier than this still when we crumble and come humbling ourselves asking for mercy from the darkness that seeps in.

So here I sit on the 3rd floor of an apartment building in a suburb of Nashville thinking about why His arms are outstretched to me yet I slowly back away ever so often and say, “Hey, thanks for the support, healing, and direction but I’m going to try it on my own for awhile. You just hang here. I’ll holler if I need a hand.” I stereotypically trot out on my own and then come limping back begging for a hug.

Here lies a false sense of control. I want to captain my own ship “with all the rights, privileges and honors thereunto appertaining” but also desire the security of knowing that when the storm hits, there’s a safe harbor to dock in wherever I go with a Captain who knows the way in and will guide me. So as the workplace becomes more unstable, as relationships become more complex and confusing, and as the questions get stranger and more untidy it’s comforting to know that I can “stand with arms high and heart abandoned in awe of the One who gave it all.”

It is in this God that I put my hope in and have faith that the answer lies with Him and not within me. It is here I can be certain that while the pain is still present and the confusion ever looms in a dark cloud overhead the arms are outstretched saying, “I AM.”